


Sleuthing Spock

by StellarLibraryLady



Series: Star Trek The Gentle Seasons Series [41]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Alarmed McCoy, Angst and Humor, Developing Relationship, Friendship, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Protective Spock (Star Trek), Soothing Kirk, assignations, oblivious!McCoy, trysts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-09
Updated: 2018-09-09
Packaged: 2019-06-28 10:02:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15704994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StellarLibraryLady/pseuds/StellarLibraryLady
Summary: What's this?!  Spock is picking up strange men and taking them to hotels?!  The Vulcan's up to no good!  McCoy just knows it!





	Sleuthing Spock

“I tell you, Jim, he’s up to something nefarious!”

“Now, Bones, I think you’re imagining things. Besides, it’s none of our business what Spock does on his freetime.”

“Yeah, but for years he’s spent hours on end sitting cross-legged on his ass on a meditation rug and contemplating higher thoughts. Why should he change his habits now?!”

Kirk shrugged. “Maybe he’s staving off remnants of pon farr.”

“Oh, hell, not that again! Are seven years up already?!”

“No. Actually, this is only halfway through his normal cycle. Maybe something else is going on.”

“Yeah! He’s having casual sex with anything that will give him a tumble!”

“Now, Bones, you don’t know that.”

“He was seen going into a bar and leaving with a stranger twenty minutes later.”

“You shouldn’t listen to gossip--”

“It isn’t gossip. I was the one who saw him.”

“You?”

“Yes. Me.”

“Had you been following him?”

“Well, yes,” McCoy admitted with discomfort. “But I was doing it as a friend!”

“I would certainly hope so.”

“Don’t start sounding like a disapproving Sunday School teacher! I’ve had enough of those to last me for one lifetime!”

“But how do you know that Spock was doing something wicked? He might’ve been meeting a business contact for drinks and then adjourned to somewhere where they could conduct further business undisturbed.”

“Yeah, and I know what kind of business that they were conducting! It involved getting naked and sliding between clean sheets to get them all dirty and sweaty!”

“You can’t say that for certain. They might’ve been going to a horse racetrack or a meeting of old friends at a men’s club.”

“It wasn’t either of those,” McCoy assured him.

“How do you know that unless you followed them?” Kirk frowned. “Did you follow them?”

“Hell, yes! I’d gone that far! I couldn’t leave it!”

“Yes, you could have.”

“Well… yes. But I didn’t.”

“So Spock and his acquaintance went--”

“To a nearby hotel,” McCoy answered miserably. “One of those you can rent by the hour.”

“Those still exist in this age?”

“Some things will always be around. There’s always gonna be a need for them. I don’t care how far man advances and how far he delves into space. He’s still gonna be led around by his hormones. Prostitution and casual sex will always be in style. Men will always be interested in getting their rocks off with no strings attached.” He grimaced. “Even Vulcan men with seemingly high ideals.”

Kirk grimaced, too. This kind of behavior did not sound like their friend Spock.

“I know that the evidence sounds damning, Bones, but there still could be some other explanation--”

“They came out of the hotel exactly an hour later, so they probably didn’t have to pay for another hour. How economical! Sounds just like that tight-fisted Vulcan!” McCoy said in a tired voice as if he was living the experience all over again and still not savoring what he’d seen with his own eyes. Kirk could just picture McCoy watching the front door of that hotel, all the while getting more jaded and disheartened as time passed.

“How did they act?” Kirk really didn’t wish to know, because it was paining him to hear details. But he knew that it was a catharsis for McCoy who had to burn the memory and the hurt out of himself.

“Very chummy,” McCoy mumbled. “They kept their hands slipped in the others backpocket so they could cup butt cheeks as they walked down the sidewalk. And that walking! They fixed it so their two closest legs had to rub against each other with every other step. I thought that they might have to return to the hotel and take care of business again. But apparently the Vulcan was emptied out by that time, so there were no revisits.”

“How do you know that Spock wasn’t on the receiving end of their daytime dalliance?” Even after he’d asked it, Kirk didn’t know which role would’ve been more acceptable for Spock. He seemed dirty, no matter if he was on top or on bottom. So disloyal.

“He loomed. That's how I know,” McCoy answered with a sigh, as if it was three hours past his regular bedtime.

“Loomed?”

“Yeah. Loomed. He towered over the guy and looked DOWN. He wasn't necessarily taller than the other guy, he just seemed bigger.”

“Oh.”

“Like the guy was an ant on the sidewalk.”

“Oh.”

“Like Spock ruled over him.”

“I think that I’m getting the picture.” Kirk frowned. “Somehow, I’d never thought of our Spock as someone who looms.”

“Well, he does. He seemed like a man about town.”

“I know he’s suave. But debonair?”

“Seems he puts on a new layer of sophistication when he gets out and about.”

“Sophistication, I can stomach. Sleaziness, no.”

“Just because it’s casual sex makes it sleazy?”

“You tell me, Bones.”

“I was hoping you could whitewash it for me. Help save some illusions for me. Bring back my belief that Spock is above all that kind of behavior.”

“Look, he’s still our friend. He’s still Spock.” Kirk frowned. “With just a new layer to him.”

“And what a layer!" McCoy shook his head in disbelief. "I suppose people change.”

“’We are living in a time of permanent change,’” Kirk quoted wryly. 

“Yeah, I suppose. But... Spock?!”

“I know. Difficult to imagine, isn't it?"

"That's the understatement of the week," McCoy muttered. "After this, I won't know what is real anymore." He frowned. "Who would've thought? Spock! Having to roll around in the hay like any other guy. And doing it so commonly and so brazenly. Makes a person wonder, you know?"

"I know. Beats all, doesn't it?" Kirk straightened. "Shh! Here he comes now. Don't mention anything about what you saw. We don't want him to suspect that we know anything. Spock!” He greeted jovially. “Glad to see you back onboard! Did you enjoy your shore leave?!” Hell, Kirk thought as he saw McCoy cringe. The one thing I didn’t want to ask! And I broadcast it anyway!

Spock looked from one to the other of his friends. They both looked guilty as hell about something. “Yes, I did, Captain. Thank you for asking.”

“Take in any sporting events? Participate in any sports yourself?” Kirk inquired, then looked as if he’d just disclosed government secrets to the enemy’s top spy.

“I did not, Captain, but I did take a gentleman to a hotel for an hour’s dalliance.”

“What?!” Kirk and McCoy both exploded at once.

“I found that I was in need of instruction by a pro in his field.”

“And did you, ah, learn many pointers?” Kirk managed to choke out. McCoy was beyond words at the present moment. He looked like he was doing good just to keep on breathing normally.

“I do believe I did, Captain. In fact, I would be willing to take on either or both of you gentlemen in the bedroom, if you are so inclined." He looked smug and self-assured. "I may have learned techniques which would be new to even you gentlemen.”

“Spock, you know that you didn’t need to resort to a professional lover for your first time. Bones or I, or both of us, would’ve been quite happy to have accommodated you. Isn’t that right, Bones?” He turned to McCoy for affirmation, but McCoy was too busy choking and trying to catch his breath to answer. “Well, I see that McCoy is occupied at the moment. But, Spock, really, if you wish more lessons, come to your friends. We won’t take your money, either.”

“I believe that you have misunderstood me, Captain,” Spock said airily. “By the time that the gentleman and I were finished with our business in the hotel, he paid me. Double. He wanted to hire me for the night, but I wanted to save myself for other action.”

“Dibs on the Vulcan!” McCoy blurted out, finally finding back his power of speech.

“Get in line, Doctor,” Kirk ordered with an appreciative look on his face as he eyed Spock. “I believe that I and my First Officer have some unfinished business to discuss. In my quarters. Tonight.”

Spock’s eyes glowed as he gave Kirk his secret, knowing grin. “I believe that I have found a new hobby, Captain.”

“About time. Most people discover it in Junior High.”

“We did not have Junior High on Vulcan. We had cold showers and five-mile runs instead.”

“Well, some things are universal,” Kirk muttered. “Sounds like they were more effective on Vulcan, though. Tell me, how come you’re answering sex’s siren call now? You’re not exactly a teenager anymore.”

“When the moon is in the seventh house, and Jupiter aligns with Mars--”

“I didn’t ask you for the lyrics of an old song, Mr. Spock.” Kirk sounded a little disgruntled.

“But the theory is the same. At the present time, the stars are aligned in my horoscope in a certain order to affect me--”

“You believe in astrology?!” Kirk demanded, unbelieving. “You?! Mr. Science?!”

Spock shrugged. “Can you explain it any other way?”

“I think you just got horny!” McCoy interrupted.

“Perhaps you are correct, Doctor. Perhaps I simply used astrology as a handy excuse.”

“Is it alright if I beat the hell outa him now, Jim?” McCoy muttered. “I think that he’s jerking us around. Just look at that smart-ass, pleased expression on his smug face.” Then to Spock, McCoy said, “You’re breaking all sorts of moral codes that you’ve placed on yourself and showing all sorts of emotions that you've always tried to suppress! Why are you doing all of this now?!”

“To taunt you, Doctor,” Spock said smugly.

“Eh?”

“I knew that you were following me, Doctor. So I gave you a good show. How did you like my hand in the other guy’s backpocket? I thought that was a particularly nice touch. I sincerely hope that I did not bruise Ramon’s buttock too much with my grabbing fingers.”

McCoy exploded. “Why the hell did you put on such a big charade?! What were you thinking?!”

“I was thinking that I wanted to entertain you for awhile, and I believe that I have.”

“Well, if it’s all the same to you, I don’t need to be entertained to such an extent from now on,” McCoy growled, feeling chastised and a little embarrassed.

“Your choice, Doctor, but you must admit that I had you guessing for awhile.”

“Well, I was only following you because I was concerned about you."

Spock’s grin gentled into a smile of endearment. “I know, Doctor. That is why I was in the hotel for only an hour. I did not wish for you to be too disgusted with me, just irritated."

"Thanks for small favors," McCoy muttered, but his lips were already relaxing into a grin of his own. "What in the hell did you and your boyfriend do for that hour?"

"It was really quite entertaining, actually. Ramon is a born storyteller. He related me his life experience which involved growing up on a ranch in Argentina. Then he sang some original love songs that he had written. He is really quite talented. The hour just flew by.”

“I bet it did!" McCoy snapped, angered because Spock had been having a relaxing time while McCoy had stewed and fretted about him outside the hotel.

“Guys, I'm leaving now,” Jim Kirk interjected. “If you think that you’ve got this all hashed out now, I got something else that I must see to--” Like a certain blonde yeoman about twenty-three years old who wanted personal instruction from her captain in her quarters.

“How did you come up with a crazy plan like this anyway?” McCoy demanded, not even hearing Kirk.

“Now, I do not wish to disclose all of my secrets, Doctor,” Spock teased.

“How about some of them then?” McCoy teased back.

Kirk didn’t wait around for Spock’s answer. He just bet, though, that Spock would have some rejoinder that would start McCoy sputtering again. Kirk wasn't curious about it because he figured he'd hear all about it in due time. McCoy would be bound to work it into a rant somehow at some future date.

"Play nice, guys," he advised as a parting shot to them as he went in search of his nubile yeoman. "Have fun." He was certain that they would get around to doing that, too. Eventually. Just as soon as they got tired of aggravating the hell out of each other.

And try not to kill each other, he thought.

Kirk wasn't too worried about them, though. Somehow, they always managed to take care of each other. And sometimes they even did that without arguing.

Generally they didn't, though. And that's when Jim Kirk would have to step in and separate them. But not for a little while. Kirk grinned. He should have time to take care of that cute yeoman just fine before Spock and McCoy needed him to referee them again.

**Author's Note:**

> I own nothing of Star Trek, its characters, and/or its story lines.


End file.
